


A Text Based Catastrophe

by DavidB1000



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Awkwardness, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Humor, Many More Characters Will Come, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2020-03-09 21:03:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18924970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DavidB1000/pseuds/DavidB1000
Summary: My Humor works well sometimes, and I figured I'd try my hand at a chat fic where everyone talks online to each other.These are sometimes popular. Please be gentle.





	1. Ammo Feeds

  
OlvQueen: Hello. I am new to all this.  
FlashMan10101: Hey, Oliver! How are you doing man!?  
FelSmoaken: And there's my husband! Don't be shy. We're all friends here.”  
Ovrgrl1: Since when was I your friend, exactly?  
OlvQueen: Holy Crap, who brought Overgirl back.  
MarNovuSeesAll: As I've said to you, Oliver Queen, there were no words to describe me, so God will have to do.  
SolQueen9001: Guys, guys, no fighting. Overgirl is trying to do good.  
OlvQueen: Okay, Kara, if you say so.  
LLCommissar: If I did not have a sense of humor, how could I stand this trial now?  
Ovrgrl1: Hah. Lena's quoting Herman Goering.  
LLCommissar: At least I did not make out with Hitler.  
Ovrgrl1: Ew. No. no. That would be like kissing your dad. EW.  
OlvQueen: Oh, thank goodness.

:EmikoQueen has joined the chat:

EmikoQueen: As always I miss all the excitement.  
OlvQueen: Yes, by being dead. What the hell, Mar Novu?  
MarNovuSeesAll: This was not an action on my end.  
Flashman10101: I didn't do it either, and what the hell not telling me about your evil half-sister you didn't know about. I told you about Nora!  
OlvQueen: I have made some mistakes.

:DarkOliver has entered the chat:

DarkOliver: Understatement of the century.

OlvQueen: Okay. What next, Damien Darhk joins?  
NoraDrhk: No, no, we are not getting my dad back here to the land of the living, thank you.  
RayPalmer1: Yes, let's get say, Vandal Savage back first.  
MickBurnsPeople: Haircut, that was literally the weirdest thing you told us about Hell.  
JohnConstant: I swear, Hell is much weirder than that normally. Why was it Detroit?  
Deadshot: Shots fried!

OlvQueen: Who the fuck gave internet to Deadshot?  
SladeWilson: Probably the same person who gave it to me.

:IloveOliver has entered the chat:

IloveOliver: I love you, Oliver.

FelSmoaken: Oh, hell, why is Cupid here.  
IloveOliver: Because I love Oliver.

OlvQueen: I will send you a damn dick-pic if it makes you go away!  
Flashman10: Oliver, uh, I think you meant to send that to her directly. I didn't need to know you knew what a dick-pic was.  
DarkOliver: This is more awkward than when I caught my Thea fantasizing about Siren-X.  
Ovrgrl1: More awkward than having to turn her into a Kryptonian so she could protect Siren-X.  
OlvQueen: Guys, you're all killing me. And I blame Mar Novu for everything. Including the downfall of the Roman Empire.  
MarNovuSeesAll: No. That as well as this series of events was not my doing. I am not Omnipotent, Oliver.

 

:LylaMichaels has entered the chat:

LylaMichaels: Stop picking on my boss, Oliver.  
OlvQueen: WTF When do you work for Mar Novu?  
MarNovuSeesAll: Lyla Michaels is my Harbinger. She was the one who deemed your world worthy of my tests. Same with Supergirl's Earth.

LLCommissar: Regardless, Oliver, we need to deal with the less end of the universe issues now. You need to relax.  
JohnTheDiggle: Exactly Oliver.  
SolQueen9001: Oliver, you need to relax. Trust us. If things were going to go to hell in a hand-basket, we'd wouldn't be all having fun here.  
EmikoQueen: Exactly, brother.  
OlvQueen: Who brought you back anyhow?

:EobardThwne has joined the chat:

EobardThwne: I did not do this, I promise you.

Flashman10: Great, even Eobard knows about this place.  
EobardThwne: To me, this chat room has been dead for centuries.

:AvaSharpe has joined the chat:

AvaSharpe: Knock it off, Eobard.  
EobardThwne: Yes, Mom.

Flashman10: WTF, when was Ava going to tell us she was actually Eobard's mom? Does Sara know?  
AvaSharpe: Yes, she does know. IT was awkward a bit, I admit at first. But everything worked out.  
Ovrgrl1: And you all thought it was weird that my pod landed in 1919, because someone never told you that we Kryptonians are ageless.  
SoLQueen9001: My bad, everyone.  
OlvQueen: What fresh hell is this?

NoraDrhk: I have no idea what we all did to deserve this.  
Deadshot: Probably trying to help an evil time demon take over the universe was not a smart move.  
IloveOliver: I agree. We should concentrate on other things, like Oliver. :)  
FelSmoaken: Ugh. 

:BlackSirenIsMyMaster joined the chat:

BlackSirenIsMyMaster: WHAT? That is not who I am! I am Dinah! Change my name, Felicity! Help!”  
MarNovuSeesAll: I did not need to see this.  
Ovrgrl1: Hmmm...

:Ovrgrl1 has changed BlackSirenIsMyMaster to BrokenGayMess:

BrokenGayMess: Who gave Overgirl, a Nazi, control over an internet chat?!  
SolQueen9001: Please, Dinah, it's okay. We all know you are a broken gay mess. :)  
LLCommissar: Hahaha! 

OlvQueen: Did I get punished for cheating on Laurel with Sara with this fresh hell?  
FelSmoaken: No, honey, sorry.

BrokenGayMess: I am Captain Dinah Drake, and if my name is not repaired, I will issue warrants for all your arrests.  
DarkOliver: And I the Fuhrer of the Nazi empire! But you don't see me bragging.  
OlvQueen: I shot you, and you're supposed to be dead. So, you're the Fuhrer of two things, Jack and shit, and Jack left town a month ago.  
SolQueen9001: Guys, please. No fighting here. Okay.  
OlvQueen: Fine

:OlvQueen has sent a picture to re: everyone:

OlvQueen: That was NOT what I meant to do!  
FelSmoaken: Whoa, honey. You done goofed.

OlvQueen: Mar Novu! Help!  
MarNovuSeesAll: No, I am afraid this is not a task for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, dear, Poor Oliver. THat was not what he wanted to do. :)  
> Also, if anyone wants to see more, let me know what you'd love to see. Perhaps traumatizing Lillian would be worth it? :P  
> And boy, Black Siren is going to get it from Dinah later. :P


	2. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 has some great bits of humor, and some awkward bits of TMI. :P And Kara shares something she's embarassed by.  
> Then Oliver is overwhelmed at the end. Poor Oliver.

Ovrgrl1: Eh. Same size really.  
DarkOliver: Okay, still didn't need to see it.  
IloveOliver: Wow. Thanks, Oliver. :)  
FelSmoaken: Good gravy.  
LLCommissar: Great goobers, Oliver.  
SolQueen9001: Gah! Oliver!  
OlvQueen: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.  
IloveOliver: I will be gone for awhile. :wink:

:Alena1010 has joined the chat:  
Alena1010: Hey guys! Sorry I'm late, I was tied up, not literally, I mean, that would be weird, I work with Felicity, and she's married to Oliver, and that would really get awkward.  
OlvQueen: I am so glad you missed a big mistake I made.  
CurtisFortKnox: Okay, I am a little confused why I got back to chat after several hours to see a picture of a penis.  
OlvQueen: I made a mistake!  
DarkOliver: That's for certain!  
Alena1010: Uh, Oliver....why?  
CurtisFortKnox: Okay, still weird Overgirl and her evil Nazi Husband is here.  
Ovrgrl1: Don't worry, I saved gays. This did not make me popular but those who complained died very fast from freak head on backwards incidents. Bwahahahaha.  
EobardThwne: I did not do it this time, Barry.  
Flashman10: Okay. I believe you.  
DarkOliver: Dear, you don't need to scare them that badly. We may be Nazis, but we have standards.  
JohnTheDiggle: Yeah, this is never going to be something I'm going to get used to.  
Alena1010: So, let's talk about something less awkward. Like, I totally was not tied up earlier!” 

OlvQueen: Felicity Smoak, you have failed this marriage!”   
FelSmoaken: Haha. You're so funny, Oliver.  
Ovrgrl1: Let's discuss this, because Alena was totally being tied up earlier in a literal sense.  
:Ovrgrl1 has shared a photo with re: everyone:  
FelSmoaken: Uh. Oliver, I can totally explain while Alena was actually tied up.  
Flashman10: Awkward.  
OlvQueen: If I get some of the money from the movies, I won't complain.  
MarNovuSeesAll: Again, this is not what I needed to see.  
SolQueen9001: Oh, no, the Monitor is judging your kinks, Oliver! Haha.  
MarNovuSeesAll: I have regretted few things in my life, this was one of them.  
FelSmoaken: Anyhow, let's move on from that. Besides, she wasn't even naked.  
CurtisFortKnox: Why am I the only normal person here? Really?

DarkOliver: Sure, let's go with that.  
:ReneRene1 has entered the chat:

ReneRene1: Yo, guys, what's up?  
CurtisFortKnox: Well, you missed some excitement and trauma earlier.  
Ovrgrl1: Oliver decided to show us all his penis. Ahahaha.  
ReneRene1: That seems a little messed up, Oliver. TMI and all that.  
OlvQueen: I hit the wrong button while trying to share something with Cupid when she showed up.  
FelSmoaken: Totally dropped the ball there.  
SolQueen9001: This is more awkward than when I thought fixing car rims was a rim-job.  
ReneRene1: AH! My eyes, Kara!  
SolQueen9001: Sorry  
LLCommissar: Poor Kara, even here, people freak out over your mistake there.  
OlvQueen: I did not need to know that either.  
MarNovuSeesAll: My eyes, the Goggles, they do nothing.  
FelSmoaken: And now the Monitor starts quoting The Simpsons. This really got weird fast.  
Ovrgrl1: To be fair, it's not like anyone would expect Kara to not be naïve about some stuff.  
SolQueen9001: Guys, really, I'm sorry!  
JohnTheDiggle: Can we start discussing anything else, like multidimensional Nazi invasions even.  
DarkOliver: I can safely say we can blame Eobard for that.  
EobardThwne: No, it was not my fault.

FlashMan10: I blame you for everything I can.  
:KillFrostGOAT has entered the chat:

KillFrostGOAT: So, guys, what did I miss? Sorry I wasn't here earlier?  
Ovrgrl1: You missed Oliver accidentally showing all of us his penis.   
KillFrostGOAT: Oh, dear, poor Oliver.  
OlvQueen: Please take me back in time, Barry  
FlashMan10: That's a negative, Ghost Rider.  
SolQueen9001: I'm surprised Oliver isn't asking about the GOAT in your name.  
OlvQueen: I thought it was weird, but she scares me and that's not a joke.  
KillFrostGOAT: You make me laugh, Oliver. GOAT stands for God of All Things! You missed some excitement when Mar Novu said he's not as strong as I am.  
OlvQueen: I'm sorry, what? The guy who said God is the best word to describe him, is weaker than someone who can freeze people to death by kissing them?  
KillFrostGOAT: I haven't even done that kissing to death thing yet. Regardless, yes, it's true. I'm Entropy, man. Even he has to obey Entropy.  
MarNovuSeesAll: The best way to describe it, Oliver Queen is Killer Frost is to me, what I am to you.  
OlvQueen: ...Okay, what next, Kara eventually can move planets around like marbles?  
SolQueen9001: Yes. Like maybe next week even.  
OlvQueen: That's it. I quit.  
:OlvQueen has left the chat:  
FelSmoaken: Poor Oliver. Let me get him back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Killer Frost if done correctly is just about on par with Death of the Endless. Who you might know as the boss of Nekron, the leader of the Black Lanterns. :P Well, boss is simplifying that.  
> Oliver didn't need to know any of this. Poor Oliver.


	3. Derailing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another update! Starts off with Dark Oliver making a sex joke, Mar Novu setting up some rules, and Barry realizes Iris and Dark Oliver share a bit of the same humor. :) Then we get to see Cupid flirting with Oliver some more, and Felicity being a bit scary. All that and more!

:OlvQueen has joined the chat:  
SolQueen9001: Hey! He's back! That didn't take long.  
FelSmoaken: Oliver just needed a break. That's all.  
OlvQueen: Yeah. I'm fine now.  
DarkOliver: So, that's not code for she gave you a handy, right?  
Ovrgrl1: Take my husband, please!  
OlvQueen: I don't want to talk about any sex stuff with a Nazi. Thank you.  
MarNovuSeesAll: New rule, we do not talk about sex stuff while I am here.  
Ovrgrl1: That's for the best.  
KillFrostGOAT: Even I agree.  
OlvQueen: I wish life was not as weird as it was.  
FlashMan10: I can break the speed of light, I think weird just flew out the window.  
SolQueen9001: Like you're the only one who can!  
EobardThwne: Haha. Kara's very protective of the fact she can punch you at faster than the speed of light.  
FlashMan10: I need to punch you at greater than the speed of light.

:IrisWestAllen has entered the chat:  
IrisWestAllen: Babe, do you and Eobard want a room?  
EobardThwne: I am not that obsessed with Barry.  
FlashMan10: That joke, honey, was so bad...  
DarkOliver: Man, when even the Nazi picks up on the underlying homoerotic tension...  
Ovrgrl1: Oh, dear. Hahahaha.  
:EobardThwne has left the chat:  
:FlashMan10 has left the chat:

IrisWestAllen: Oh, for crying out loud!  
:IrisWestAllen has left the chat: 

Ovrgrl1: Okay. That got awkward fast.  
OlvQueen: You have failed this chat room, Dark Oliver.  
DarkOliver: Man, I didn't mean to.  
SolQueen9001: It's okay, we all do things we don't mean to.  
LLCommissar: Like the time Superman killed that one person by accident, by throwing him out a 30th story window. Wait....That's not an accident.  
Ovrgrl1: Haha.

SolQueen9001: Yes, Superman killed people. I get it. Ugh.  
LLCommissar: Sorry, dear, I don't mean to make you sad.  
OlvQueen: Raise your hand if you never killed a person.  
FelSmoaken: That would be difficult since this is online, Oliver, but I'm 1.  
DinahDrake: Finally got my name back to normal and whatnot. Also, yes, I totally killed people.

SolQueen9001: That's just mean, Oliver. I mean, I didn't want to kill. :(  
OlvQueen: Kara, I'm surprised, but I can assure you, it is not by any stretch something people wish to do.  
SladeWilson: Do you think even I wanted to be like this at first?  
IloveOliver: Exactly. Also, I'm back, and thank you, Oliver. I had fun.  
OlvQueen: Kill me, now, Mar Novu.  
MarNovuSeesAll: I am afraid this is not your destined time to die, Oliver Queen.

FelSmoaken: Don't worry so much, Oliver.  
IloveOliver: I will love Felicity too if it means I get sexy times with Oliver in the real world. :)  
FelSmoaken: Well, okay then. I'm sold! Say, honey, invite Cupid over.  
:FlashMan10 has entered the chat:   
FlashMan10: So, what's been going on?  
OvrGrl1: Felicity wants to have sexy time with another woman besides Alena.   
OlvQueen: Seems legit.  
FlashMan10: Okay then. I thought the Monitor explained not to traumatize him any more?  
MarNovuSeesAll: I have given up on that. Controlling you all is as likely as Oliver Queen halting the rotation of the sun itself.

Ovrgrl1: Haha! Poor Mar Novu.  
FlashMan10: It's pretty bad, I know.  
OlvQueen: Go pull an Eobard on Overgirl.  
FlashMan10: Yeah, I can't phase through a Kryptonian. Don't feel like losing my hand. I can make them phase through me just fine, but the opposite, yeah, no, Eobard explained that one. If freaking Eobard makes it clear you're going to have a bad day....  
Ovrgrl1: You're just mad I won't have a threesome with you and Felicity, Oliver.  
DarkOliver: I have no complaints if you want this, Oliver  
FelSmoaken: There is a list of people I'd rather have sex with before a Nazi, a very large list. Like every freaking person on the planet Earth!  
OlvQueen: I don't blame you, honey.  
Alena1010: I remember some interesting things Felicity told me.  
FelSmoaken: OMG, if you say anything, I will hunt you down to the ends of the Earth and most certainly kill you!  
Alena1010: I suddenly forgot them all!  
OlvQueen: Okay. That was a little scary.  
MarNovuSeesAll: I am now scared of your wife, Oliver Queen.

FelSmoaken: Okay, so it's really not that bad.  
Flashman10: Really? Because, Eobard showed up and said he's scared of you now.  
EobardThwne: I am fully scared of Felicity Smoak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gee, I wonder what Alena could have learned to make Felicity that mad. :P


	4. Madness Incarnated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shortish chapter. Eobard makes things more complicated. Batwoman joins the chat, with the most appropriate screenname, is thrown for a bit with the Earth-X stuff, and Kara gets angry because of stupid sunspots.

OlvQueen: Okay. It's been a few days, I think Felicity scaring everyone away was kind of awkward, but she's not here at the moment.  
EobardThwne: You know, it's really bad when even I was scared of your wife, Oliver.  
DarkOliver: I'm just saying, your wife scares the leader of the Nazi empire.  
OlvQueen: :Facedesk: Come on! This is getting insane.

IloveOliver: Don't worry, Oliver, I'll always be here for you. :)  
OlvQueen: Can you go back in time and kill her, Eobard.  
EobardThwne: I'm sorry, but I am evil, not a douchebag, there's a difference.  
IloveOliver: I killed people too! Not just for Oliver.  
OlvQueen: I must have been horrifyingly cruel to puppies in a former life to deserve this. Was I freaking Hitler or something?  
DarkOliver: Hey now, he liked dogs!  
OlvQueen: Fine, I was a version of Hitler who hated dogs in a former life!

CurtisFortKnox: Well, this was a bad time to come back to chat.  
OlvQueen: I regret everything, and I really want to go back in time and stop my own mistakes.  
CurtisFortKnox: I don't blame you, Oliver.  
MarNovuSeesAll: That is not one of my abilities, I am afraid.

OlvQueen: Oh, bite me, Mar Novu.  
MarNovuSeesAll: No thanks.  
:RichBitchWhoLovesTits has entered the chat:  
RichBitchWhoLovesTits: Hey, guys! What's up? Kara told me about this place! What's going on?  
SolQueen9001: Yay! You're here, Batwoman!  
OlvQueen: Are you always here, Kara?  
SolQueen9001: Yes. I don't sleep much. I am powered by the sun!  
RichBitchWhoLovesTits: So, Kara is as hyper as always, what else is going on?  
DarkOliver: I am Oliver Queen from an alternate universe where Hitler won the war because of an evil version of Supergirl known as Overgirl who killed millions of people with her heat vision via a nuclear explosion.  
RichBitchWhoLovesTits: Okay, that's a little weird. Not going to lie. Explains why Batman had a file labeled Nazi Batman though.  
Ovrgrl1: Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. Also, for what it's worth, I am like Kara, and Pansexual. The whole hatred for who loves who is stupid and made me angry.  
RichBitchWhoLovesTits: A Nazi who doesn't hate gays. That is indeed a real alternate reality.  
OlvQueen: Still not as weird as a universe where Iris West can cook.  
FlashMan10: Shots fired!  
EobardThwne: That universe isn't as weird as the universe where Iris West is a Nazi.  
FlashMan10: WTF man.  
DarkOliver: Uh, don't look at me.  
EobardThwne: Right, Crime Syndicate of America universe. Barry hasn't encountered that yet.  
FlashMan10: No, I most certainly didn't encounter an evil Nazi Iris West.  
EobardThwne: Also, evil Nazi Felicity.  
FelSmoaken: Excuse me, what the fuck did I just walk into?  
MarNovuSeesAll: This is my life now

FelSmoaken: Seriously, an alternate universe where I'm a Nazi? Eobard, you're drunk, go home.  
EobardThwne: I am not drunk off Cisco's magic alcohol.  
FlashMan10: I mean, you're not wrong, it is like magic. Still though, how does an alternate universe where there's a Jewish Nazi even make sense?  
EobardThwne: Do I really have to explain the concept of alternate history to you? Besides, your Iris has her own damn special history that makes all this completely tame.   
RichBitchWhoLovesTits: We can discuss all that a different time. Let's shift away from the very bizarre right now.

MarNovuSeesAll: I agree.  
FlashMan10: My wife does not have any complicated history.  
EobardThwne: Go ask Gideon to learn the full truth.  
SolQueen9001: Shut up, you two, or I'll rip your lungs out!  
OvrGrl1: Oh dear, Kara got into the Periwinkle Kryptonite.  
SolQueen9001: I'm not that high yet!  
FlashMan10: That's messed up, Kara. I know you told me what it does, but still.

SolQueen9001: Sorry, I just got an alert on my phone, solar storm on the sun. It can affect my emotions. So I snapped. :(

RichBitchWhoLovesTits: Boy, that has to be awkward to live with.  
SolQueen9001: Yeah. It can be. Stupid sun. I should go punch it.  
EobardThwne: At least you can punch the sun, I'd just be incinerated. The Speed Force doesn't protect speedsters that much.  
FlashMan10: There goes my plan of jumping into a black hole at greater than the speed of light.  
MarNovuSeesAll: That is all sorts of silly.  
IrisWestAllen: Babe, please do not jump into a black hole.  
SolQueen9001: Barry, don't break your universe.  
MarNovuSeesAll: Yes, please do not.  
EobardThwne: I think it is time for Iris to reveal her secret to you.

IrisWestAllen: I have no secrets.  
EobardThwne: Sure, and Godspeed is totally not August Heart, Barry's childhood friend, who killed his daughter's girlfriend.  
FelSmoaken: Dude...that is messed up.

FlashMan10: EOBARD! The beatings will continue until morale improves!  
EobardThwne: Not actually scared.  
LLCommissar: Okay now, guys, are we certain Eobard doesn't really like you that much?  
FlashMan10: Maybe a little.  
EobardThwne: My many times great grandson marries your daughter, Dawn Allen, of the Tornado Twins, Barry. Believe me, I do not like you that much.  
IrisWestAllen: Ow. Twins?!  
SolQueen9001: Okay, your life is pretty damn complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the big delay. Stupid brain wasn't working for this story for the longest time.


End file.
